Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for January, 2012

Faith & Belief

by Siddhant Kashyap

“You haven’t seen the world kid, you have a lot to go through”, My dad loved saying this to me whenever I used to feel the world has come to an imminent end and there is no more misery and sufferings after this. His words always made me curious, what else does this world have to offer me

I know most of the world have their own story to share, everyone have gone through their fare share of tears. This is mine.

Faith, for many it is follow the norm, for some it is the road less travelled. In either way faith is omnipotent – just have to choose your sides. Its about faith in my Lord – Jesus.

Born and brought up in a christian family which everyone has a notion of will be obedient and faithful in the Lord is quite the contrary to what happened. Attending regular Sunday school classes didn’t achieve much in my life. My faith back then as a kid lied more in winning computer games (which at that time had become quite a rage!), winning football matches at my residential compound with my friends and a severe denial towards smoking and alcoholism.

Peer pressure quite caught up with me then, trying to be part of a groups I didn’t belong. Rejected and Dejected I became vulnerable to anything. Enter smoking, alcoholism, Anti-Christ views, rebel music and movies, demonic games, etc. My faith in them grew so much I began justifying them against the society, which I quite frankly is made on a foundation of hay. Tags such as pains of growing. adolescent problems got me even more charged up to stand up against anything and everything. I couldn’t sympathise or empathise with any other. I reached a stage where I started challenging and standing against the law, most of all morals, in other words, conscience

My conscience keep chaining me and chose to ignore it. My decision still costs me heavy. But still one thing I still refused to clear my conscience was reasoning. The element of logic. Plants grow because water, soil, air and sunlight is provided, I take a step because my brain signals it to, Humans were evolved not created. Even though being instilled since childhood and being testified by my dad’s doctor that a miracle saved him when he was suffering, I was still gloating on my ability to question and debate. Even dad’s death couldn’t break my iron will. My faith in what I believed in was too strong to be broken.

After my spate of rebellion and anger, I sought after peace and content. Not only measuring happiness by laughter but some. I’d like to keep my experiences of sins confidential but I know they weighed more than I could carry. I wanted to be released and then it hit me.

Suffering a severe case of malaria few nights before Christmas and resistant to go to the doctor I fell on my bed out cold. No memory of the previous night, I got up as healthy as a horse. Upon meeting one of the best doctors of the city, he also had a grim look on his face as to how I could be so hail and hearty and finally said that it was a miracle.

Laying on the hospital bed for preventive measures, I began introspecting myself. My wrongs, my rights, my duties, my responsibilities. I started reading the bible and the one verse that has intrigued me since a child was very much made clear now. I had epiphany and broke down.

The above picture does say it all. A man in so much pain and agony, mocked at, inhumanly attacked at, had the heart to say the above words. (Reference to ‘The Crucifixion’ in the New Testament books of Mark, Matthew, Luke and John)
Jesus had faith by dying for the sins of mankind, he will surely greet each and everyone of us in heaven, a much better place where more than anger there is peace, more than happiness there is content. And that’s when I started thinking what have I done. Here I went about my inglorious ways justifying them all the way and here a man nailed to the cross in sheer agony and pained, humiliated and mocked at had the heart to say “Father forgive them, they know not what they do.” Jesus had all his faith in me and I couldn’t show him an iota of mine. Of the so many things I could stand up against the world for, I was afraid of this one. He gave his whole time and I couldn’t give him a second of my time. 
I looked at myself in the mirror and with the promise of his word I stand now, ready to accept him as my saviour beyond the limits of reasoning. Though a sinner still I’m ready to accept them and repent for them. The burden I feel being relieved from, I now testify for him as the cross is a beacon of hope for me to look forward to a better world. 
My faith, My Belief, My Jesus.

Advertisements

Read Full Post »